Your Dog Is Ugly

I was walking around a trendy part of a popular city the other day when I noticed young adults walking their dogs all around me. To preface this article, I would like to state that I personally am not an animal person. To be perfectly frank, the happiest I am with animals are when they are on my dinner plate. I don’t feel bad for sick puppies. Your cat is rarely going to make me go “aw” and your fish and birds are just decorations to me. Sure there are some pets I find cute but I will very rarely act on a cute animal. Anyways, while surrounded by all these millennials and their pets I realized something – millennials have shitty pets. with an emphasis on dogs. Let me clarify this. If you’ve adopted an older animal or an animal who may have impaired mobility, I’m not talking about you. You’re at the very least a decent person in my books. However if you’ve ever looked at your pet and thought “why can’t others see you for how cute I see you?” then you are the problem. Your pet is ugly and probably shouldn’t exist.

We’re talking about the pugs, the bulldogs, and all the other genetically modified breeds that make your dog look like a distant relative of the blob fish. Why do I think that these pet owners get these ugly ass dogs? Is it because that they think they’re cute? If so, then it just goes to show that they have trash taste. In reality it probably has to do with how us millennials love being different. Some of us write blogs and pretend to be insightful, some of us listen to music that is bad that no one else listens to, some of us pretend that we care about politics – shit, some of us even try pretending that being relatable and normal are things that make us different and unique. And in this quest for uniqueness, some of us have decided to take on one of the ugliest forms of life on this planet. Just like how not all babies are cute, not all dogs are cute either.

Surely there are easier methods in this world to stand out from the crowd but you would rather take care and be responsible for a life. But Baron how does it affect you? It really doesn’t besides that my eyes have to suffer every time I have to look at someone’s fur baby that resembles a pile of wet linen. Baron, you’re being rude and aggressive. What’s more aggressive? My take on ugly pets or that the shitty pet owner decided to bring home a genetically modified born to die animal that has been tinkered on for decades to produce a dog that can’t even sniff it’s own butthole without popping a hip. All while 4 figures are being spent on a longer than one year waitlist. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL, YOU JUST HAVE SHITTY TASTE AND MAKE DUMB DECISIONS, THE ONLY THING AMAZING IS YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOUR OWN STUPIDITY.

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