You Know When Guys Are Being Dudes

Since the dawn of time, guys have been dudes. This is a phenomenon that I learned while in university when us guys would literally play FMK on roadtrips. You think it’s degrading but you haven’t even heard the worst of it. We would play FMK with our subjects not only being women, but also men, but most importantly food. “Yo Kevin, FMK. (The insert name of woman), cheese pizza, and a Deep ‘N’ Delicious” Let me tell you this. almost always – food was getting fucked. You know why? Because beyond sex, beyond logic, beyond normal behavior – guys are dudes and dudes are guys.

Now I know that maybe your head is going into the extreme. “Isn’t boys will be boys problematic?” Yes it is problematic. I don’t believe that men should be shitty due to the established patriarchy. Why yes, I am a feminist, ladies. I’m talking about that certain quality in men for when they get goofy and do things just to get a laugh. That term tomfoolery – what if I told you that Tom was a guy being a dude? We don’t even do these things to get a laugh from the other person, it’s a laugh for ourselves. And the crazy thing about this concept is that guys will be dudes wherever they are in life. Whether he’s eight, eighteen, or eighty – he will always hold some semblance of being a guy being a dude. Take this for instance – a baby boy farts, he starts giggling. Your dad farts in the car, he rolls up the windows. Your grandfather farts, he looks at you waiting for you to react. These are examples of how guys have been dudes and how dudes will always be guys no matter how old they get.

But it’s not all just fun and games. Guys being dudes can also have a negative, yet innocent impact. For example, imagine a bunch of guys in their late teens/early 20’s booking one hotel room with one bed for six guys just to save money. Or how guys will literally throw up with one another because they don’t want their friend to throw up alone. That’s just being a good teammate. Sure these things aren’t great on the surface level but if you think about it, they provide good stories and teach men how important comradery is. Have I fingered my throat just to make a friend feel less lonely, hell yeah! Have I been carried out of a bar before by a friend, of course. Guys being dudes isn’t always sunshine and memes but realistically they are positive experiences with great stories to tell afterwards.

Now maybe you’re reading this and you’re still confused. Maybe you have a boyfriend and he doesn’t seem to have these traits. Two things. One, he may only act this way around his guy friends or two, your boyfriend missed out on being a guy and being a dude and is unfortunately not a part of this fraternity. But surely you’ve seen this elsewhere. Have you been on TikTok recently? Videos of a group of guys singing in a high school washroom, videos of dudes ripping each other’s jeans and shirts for a video, the video format where a guy asks a dude if they want to eat something on their spoon in which they say no, then the guy does the plane action with the spoon and the dude is overly enthusiastic. Those are prime examples of guys being dudes.

Need more examples? How about that famous Seinfeld episode where the gang decides to not jerk off for the sake of competition? That’s guys being dudes. When you have dinner with your family and the server says “Hi guys, I’m name and I’ll be your server tonight” and your dad goes “Hi server’s name, I’m dad’s name and I’ll be your customer tonight”. That’s guys being dudes. The movie SuperBad. Guys being dudes. Every sport known to man. Guys being dudes. When a bunch of guys decide to dress the same for a night out. Guys being dudes. Making your mom jokes. Guys being dudes. Slapping each other with the towel in a changeroom. Guys being dudes. A devil’s threesome. Guys being dudes. Doing nothing but watching football all day on Saturday or Sunday. Guys being dudes. Saying nice after hearing “69”. Guys being dudes. Spending all night to play video games that they suck at and keep losing at. Guys being dudes. Talking about women to each other that they wish they could be with but being an absolute shy guy around them. Guys being dudes. Comparing penises (size, colour, direction of lean). Guys being dudes. Getting a team haircut or dying your hair colour the same. Guys being dudes. Pregaming for a night out and not making it out of the house because you’re comfy and drunk and Sports Center highlights are running and you’ve seen this rerun about 18 times. Guys being dudes. Messaging a friend you haven’t seen/spoken to in months and they reply half a year later. Guys being dudes.

As you see, guys being dudes are everywhere. What we need to do is channel guys and dudes into something productive. Guys being dudes created Judd Apatow films, the NFL, amusement parks, and so much more. Why can’t guys being dudes cure cancer or save the world (oh wait, that’s Mr. Beast and he is definitely a guy being a dude). We are surrounded by guys being dudes. In fact, you reading this article, guess what? A guy is being a dude right before your eyes.

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