Why do I cry so much

If you’ve been around me long enough then you’d know I’m a cryer. By the way, autocorrect is telling me that “cryer” is not a word but we’re going with it. I’ve been crying since I was a baby, it’s been one of the more consistent things in my life. Funny enough, my mother told me that a part of the reason why I was such an easy baby to raise was because I wasn’t a baby that cried very much. The doctor made a comment when I was born that I was a lot more calm than most other babies that got delivered. I told y’all that I was a dawg. But even so, that didn’t prevent me from crying into my adult life. Sometimes I will watch Ted Lasso clips on YouTube and just cry.

Of course, I would cry if something sad happened. I teared up a bit a month ago when my good friend from work Renee moved on to another company. I cried a lot when I lost my last university and high school sports game. You will never know pain like a young man losing their last high school football game. When we lost our last university rugby game, my buddy Callum and I cried and hugged for like a solid 30 seconds on that field. Those were some tough days. Then there are real cries like when someone you love passes away or when you’ve just had it with life and you breakdown. Yeah, I cry – I can admit to that.

But I’m grateful for being able to cry. Grateful that I had such great experiences with those people that I could afford those tears – blood, sweat, and tears right? The way I see it is if I can have the greatest and deepest relationships with people that make me feel fulfilled, relationships that make me laugh, that make me want to sing and dance, then I shouldn’t be able to close myself off emotionally from being able to cry. Crying is what happens when you’re reminded of all the good times that had happened, that may no longer happen again. And if those experiences don’t happen again, then those experiences must have been really special. Those are the moments that you can still hold onto forever until someone is crying about you.

As a masculine manly man, I get that sometimes it’s tough to appear vulnerable but I choose to be vulnerable. I’m like a puppy dog showing you their belly. I typically want to make strong relationships with people as it adds to the romance of life. And that starts with being vulnerable with them, the world, and to yourself. Shit, if I wasn’t so vulnerable that wouldn’t be me being me. I don’t always have to keep myself to myself. I do that when I’m in bed, when I’m in the shower, or on my commute home. In a way this article – nay, this entire blog is me being vulnerable. Those times by myself are valued, but it’s the laughs, the tears of joy, and those precious moments that are the things that I think about when I keep myself to myself.

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