Trading good looks for discipline

I’m a superficial man. We all know this. I love when things look right. I’m not even talking about things looking good or bad – I’m just talking about things looking right to me. Like I can see someone’s lilac mechanical keyboard and think that it looks good but if it’s not black, it doesn’t look right to me. If it’s not black, paired with a black mouse, sitting on a black deskmat – that’s not my aesthetic and excuse me for sometimes sounding like an old man yelling at the clouds. I am a person who needs structure, if I don’t have it – I will fall apart. I would get fat again, I would be unemployed, and I would have 0 ambition. I need structure like a fish needs water, like a horse needs hay, and like how my mom somehow always knows that I’m out drinking and will find that moment to call or text me.

So again, as superficial as I am – I am trying to get more handsome. How handsome? Well I want to look like Zac Efron. I know his face has had some changes but I’m talking before that, I’m also talking mostly about his body. I also want to look like Toji Fushiguro. I always liked him in the manga but when they animated the man, holy moly. All I wanted to do was look ripped wearing tight black shirts like he does. Regardless, I just want to be hot as stated by the standards of western society. To me, looking hot like that isn’t just a sign of looking hot (it is, but it’s more) I think that looking hot is also a show of discipline in diet and routine.

I live a pretty dormant lifestyle. I work an office job, I play video games, and I’m on my butt and back a lot (ask your mom). So getting hot is the motivation that I need to build my life up and be more consistent in the gym and even walk more. Just being more active in general is a priority for me right now. All that same crap that my dad would try to tell me to do when I was younger. He’d tell me all of this while having a dart outside after pounding 4 beers. You know – dad stuff. So since October, I’ve been going to the gym in the mornings before work, I would make sure to get all my steps in, and of course I’d be eating home cooked meals. Sometimes I just go to the gym to stretch, use the foam roller, and do a recovery workout on the stationary bike for like half an hour because I think these things are important to building discipline.

Discipline is what I need more now than anything else. I feel like I’m getting a bit complacent with my life and I just need to do more in order to get the most out of myself. I’m dangling Zac Efron’s abs in front of my face like a carrot so that I can have a generally better life. And no, I’m not doing this for other people (it’s cool if girls would check me out though) – I am doing this for me. At this point you should all know that I love me. Baron loves Baron more than Baron loves anything else in the world. If my hair looks good and I like my outfit, I will stare at myself in the mirror for a very long time. I am conceited, that is my Achilles heel. That’s why I do self deprecating jokes to try and humble myself to be more like you – that’s a whole other article though.

And listen, you might think that I’m enough but I will never be enough for myself. In my effort of loving myself, I will never stop getting better. I know, it sounds insane because it is – but just know that this will never affect how I treat you. It’s like if you really love your room and you keep buying things to make your room more you, or if you have a car that you can’t stop modding, or an SO that you can’t stop buying gifts for or planning vacations with – I cannot stop thinking of ways to improve myself. Does it give me anxiety, is this sustainable, will I implode – yeah maybe. But I’ve been doing this for awhile now and it’s been going well for the most part. Definitely more W’s than L’s.

I guess the moral of the story is that it doesn’t matter what motivation you need to get you to where you need to go. Sometimes you just have to make some crap up so that you can reach whatever goal it is you need. Or you can come up with something super mature and real, unlike me – a man child who only loves himself and being vain. And by the way, as a sidenote – why the heck are you guys even reading my blogs when I’m so conceited? I was rereading this article and just kept thinking “oh this boy is crazy.” Oh that’s right, you keep reading because I’m dope. By the way, children read this blog so I’m not swearing anymore, or at the very least trying to do it less.

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