The difficulties of being the friend with good taste

I am a blessing to my friends. I am someone who finds amusement in seeing what is in trend, yet doing my research on things that have stood the test of time. Even though we didn’t have much money growing up, my parents did as much as they could to expose me to many of the finer things in life, in the world of food. They also worked hard and instilled in me the belief that good things happen with effort and some good luck. I can’t control the good luck but I can control the effort. So in order to find the finer things in life, I would research, put myself in uncomfortable situations, and would experience things that I wouldn’t like but other people would, in order to form an objective and a subjective opinion. All this to say, I have amazing taste and as your friend with amazing taste, you are so friggin’ lucky to have me in your life.

Restaurant recommendations/ordering for the table, recommending a show or film, buying gifts – I cannot go wrong. I can’t go wrong because I have exposed myself to so much culture, unlike you comfortable little normies. I even put myself in situations like having to hear about you go on and on about your dry Thanksgiving turkey to figure out what your palette is like. Or even about how you’re a grill master but all you do is put sausages and chicken breast on a barbecue. I do this for you. You have bad taste, it’s not your fault – that’s why I’m here to do all the things that your boyfriend or girlfriend don’t have the sense for. I will not push you past your limit, but I will make you dance on the threshold. I will challenge you and pop your cherry with new experiences (too much? I don’t care. Again, that’s me pushing you a little).

Chances are you will never have a friend like me who is so humble, down to Earth, and objective. I knew how unexposed to the world you were when you told me that your favourite anime is Attack on Titan and that The Keg is your favourite place to get a steak. I’m sorry boo boo. I’m sorry that I’m about to blow your mind and it’s going to seem effortless for me when you couldn’t even fathom that we’d be eating the gonads of a sea urchin (and enjoying it). And yes, it seems easy – but like I said at the beginning, it’s not. I had to work hard to desensitize myself to a personal bias, a perspective beyond that of a normal person. I had to get to that next level. How else do you think I can listen to you talk about your girl dinner or your KD with ketchup?

All this to say, you’re welcome 🫶

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