The challenges of being oddly shaped

I stand at 5’6 and 163 lbs. My dimensions aren’t unheard of, if anything as a man, that’s quite normal. I’m in good shape. I go to the gym, I don’t think anyone would say that I’m skinny or fat, I’m kind of in the middle. But I am oddly shaped. I think because of genetics though I am just cursed to be an odd shaped man. I have weird proportions. My legs look turkey drum sticks, I have a barrel chest, big arms, and big shoulders. I am a human equivalent of a chode. I am shaped like a corgi. I have come to turns that I will never like how I will look, no matter the amount of weights I lift or food that I eat/don’t eat. When I run, I look like a meatball rolling down a hill. If I were an instrument, I wouldn’t be big enough to be a tuba, I’d be more like a baritone, perhaps a Barontone. I look like if someone edited a picture of a tall person, put it on MS Paint and instead of dragging from the top right or left, dragged from the top middle down. I look like a cross between the VW Beetle and the Kia Soul – with the gerbils inside, like the commercials. If I were a fruit, I’d be a cube watermelon from Japan. If I had kids, they’d be shaped like minions. I’m built like a mini fridge. If I were a hat, I’d e a trucker hat or a Kangol bucket hat.

I’m traveling right now and can’t write anything long or insightful. I hope you enjoyed this Baron sized article.

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