Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me

This past weekend I got home from seeing a bunch of friends. One of my friends randomly brings up teenagers. Now considering that everyone in the room was in their mid to late 20’s – it would be strange to just be talking about kids but that friend had brought up a very valid point. The point being that teenagers are scary. The legitimacy of this claim was only proved to be truly valid when, what felt like everybody in the room, started talking about how they were also scared of teenagers. To be honest, this is something I have also recently thought of, when just last week I was buying breakfast at a McDonald’s and a bunch of kids from their Jeep yelled at me. I don’t know what they were yelling about but I know that it was directed at me and I did feel threatened and made fun of.

But when you consider all the factors of what teenagers are like, of course we should be afraid. Teenagers are all horny, questioning their identities, and figuring out what they like and don’t like. They are sporadic in their decisions and have their whole lives ahead of them. Due to these factors they are fearless in taking risks. When I see an old granny walk in my direction, I have a good idea of what’s going to happen. But when I see a spry young man with a hip hop shirt and a backwards cap – that’s a total wildcard. Are they going to yell at me? Punch me? Make some weird reference that’s going to make me feel offput? Maybe they’ll even put me in a position to look like a bad guy. After all, a young innocent child would surely win over the court of public affection over a hardened and grizzly looking man such as myself. I know this about myself because I’ve had many women tell me that I’m tough to look at.

And when I think of teenagers now versus teenagers from when I was young? C’mon now. That’s like comparing 2022 basketball to 2000’s basketball, it’s not even in the same league. These guys are all well connected on their phones, they all know what’s cool, and they vape in washrooms at school. Back in my day, sure a couple kids would walk around with knives but they wouldn’t stab you while blowing vape clouds in your face. They wouldn’t do it with their phones out, recording me getting beat up to put onto the TikTok. We had Vine back in the day and that was great, but these TikTokers and their renegade would beat the shit out of Cameron Dallas (no disrespect to Cameron Dallas). Teenagers are a menace to society and they are only getting worse. All I’m saying is that I will be avoiding all McDonald’s and malls this summer.

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.

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