I keep hoping for things to get better
But life hasn't settled at all
It's like I'm staring at a dry planted seed hoping for it to grow when I have a leaking hose right next to me
And as I wish for that seed to blossom
I know that nothing is going to change
I know that everything will remain the same
But I act like everything's going to be OK
Am I waiting for the patch of dirt to speak to me?
Will it provide me with the answer I've been looking for?
Do my answers lay underneath the Earth?
And if they did, would I mind dirtying my hands to dig them out?
Do I dare?
Problems keep stacking up and I can't move away
The farther away I look, the closer reality appears
And eventually it caught up to me
This entire time, I wasn't running from the problem
I was running with it
But standing still only causes anxiety
So the only option would be to take it head on
But how do you solve a problem that has no head
How do you approach an issue that that has no legs
And at one point is it my fault
And at one point do I realize that it's always been my fault
Maybe letting my feelings control me was the wrong answer,
As my entire life I tried to control my feelings
When is it OK for me to pull back
At what point is looking forward the irresponsible decision
Maybe I carry the problem everywhere I go

Am I the one that has to go?

9.2.22 2:28 am

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