None of this is real

Sometimes I meet people for the first time and they’re a bit surprised by how easy and optimistic I am about life. Not just that but I’m not really afraid of being me, telling the truth, and even letting intrusive thoughts win. My intrusive thoughts aren’t really thoughts, they’re more like intrusive megaphones that I have to get out. Maybe it’s more like intrusive diarrhea. But my reason for being this way is because I think that all of this is bs and that none of this really matters.

Descartes said I think therefore I am and I live by that quote. I don’t really know if anything in this universe exists out of me, so I just live by the belief that whatever happens happens and I can really only be the best version of me. And in my opinion the best version of me is someone who can make things easier for everybody else while just being authentically me. Am I making it hard to understand? Like I’ll use me, which I know exists as a catalyst for my ambitions of making myself better and life better for everyone else. OK that makes sense.

And I work in an industry where I deal with millions of dollars that I never see, I don’t even see the money in my bank account. Yeah, I know it exists but like, it lowkey doesn’t. If I work with you, don’t worry I still treat the money like it’s real because it’s part of my moral code of treating others well. I love food and traveling but when I’m not experiencing it first hand, it doesn’t exist. The shows and films that I don’t watch don’t matter until I watch them either. I guess this belief is just me trying to find a way to not worry about things that don’t really bother me. If I’m good at work, I get paid, if I treat others well, that’s good for everybody. I just don’t see the motivation to act on things that you don’t have to worry about. If you realize this and you let go of certain things, you realize that your life will be better for it.

When you live by this rule that everything is bs, you also realize that since none of it matters, you can just kinda make everything your own bs. “Make life what you make of it” type beat. And if you bs your way through things while keeping your morality in check, I think that’s a win. I mean bs stinks but no one ever thinks that their own brand stinks that much right? So own your bs.

This is easily one of my worst articles ever.

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