My Speed Dating Experience

OK gather around children, I’ve got another update for you in the Thougthful Bear love saga – the journey where we don’t really achieve anything. We learn, laugh, and languish in the feeling of me justifying my main character syndrome through believing that I’m so special that there’s no one out there for me – when in reality, this justification is just me living up to this self fulfilling prophecy. I don’t need a therapist, I have this blog. Regardless though, as the title says – I went speed dating. I tried to keep this a secret for the most part, not because I was embarrassed but because I wanted unforeseen content. I have embarrassed myself often and that’s not a problem, I am a theater kid after all. I did speed dating on March 6 and I did it with my friend from work Nicole. She is super fun and a little crazy so I thought that she would be a hoot to bring along (btw I say that Nicole is crazy with love. Love you girlie!)

So the logic behind the decision to go speed dating was that I always felt like I was more funny, intelligent, and cultured than like 99% of people yet for some reason, maybe through luck or looks – I simply did not feel like I could get through that initial barrier of having a woman looking at me as someone dateable. But knowing my personality, I felt that once a woman would give me a chance, I would be in the clear because I’m so freaking cool. Putting myself in the position of speed dating, all the women there would already be in the mindset of wanting me to be the best version of myself. To preface, the event was about $45 which is cheaper than a premium add on on a dating app and more affordable than a night out. So the math made sense for me in that department too.

The event works just like how it does in movies and tv shows. Everyone gathers at a bar/restaurant. There’s a host that plays a warm up game with everyone. The women proceed to take their seats and the men rotate between every woman/seat. You are given an allotted amount of time to get to know your date. You’re also given a score card at the beginning of the night to essentially say yes or no to the individuals you’re speaking with. At the end of the night, you return your scorecard and you’re emailed shortly after about your matches/results. How did I do? I’ll get into it later in this article, as I want you to keep reading. At our event there were 6 women and 8 men – typically there are more men than women at these events.

I won’t lie. I saw these dudes and I thought that I was the best among them. I love myself maybe a bit too much but I just instantly thought that I was more handsome, more confident, and had better style. I am a cocky dude and I looked at the crowd and did think “oh yeah this seems to be the type of crowd to be at a speed dating event” but I was also there. So any belief of myself being a more datable person were just illusions. I won’t lie though, after hearing Nicole talk about the other dudes, a part of me did come out of the night thinking that I at least have better social skills than a lot of these guys and I think that was a good takeaway.

Out of the 5 women there that didn’t include Nicole, I liked 1 of them – Nat. That was it. Besides the 1, I was not physically attracted to any of them. My super power is that I am really good at reading people and I could tell from 8 minutes of conversation that beyond being friends, I wouldn’t have much to talk about with these women. It also lacked chemistry. You know that aha moment that makes me go “wow she’s different, I want to know how different”. When I was in undergrad, I remember that once I was talking to this woman at a bar that I just met and having that aha moment. Even my friend who saw from across the room could tell I liked her because he saw my face flip into a different expression. I just feel like it’s hard for me to seriously like a woman unless she can provide some enlightenment or perspective in my life that I don’t think I can find otherwise in my daily life, work, or travels.

ANYWAYS. I really enjoyed the night, even if I left with 0 matches, I probably would have still enjoyed it. The only thing that would have made the night more fun is if there were more women. With that being said, I would do it again! I actually would highly recommend speed dating for those who feel a little unlucky in love. So anyways, my results were that I liked 1 woman there – Nat and ta-da! It was a match. I texted her and she never texted me back. So uh yeah, I guess that’s par for the course but it is what it is. 100% match rate though, pretty not bad. Nicole on the other hand, got her 2 matches. She even went on two first dates with them. The first one being a bit of a dud but the second one she told me was maybe the best date that she’s ever been on in her life. That’s a W in my books.

So all in all, speed dating is pretty cool. I would recommend it. I think that you should try it if you’ve exhausted your options on apps and bars. It gets the big ol’ Thoughtful Bear stamp of approval. By the way, if we’re friends in real life, can you start bringing me up to your attractive single girl friends because I don’t want to have to try every single method in the world to find a woman in my life.

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