Celebrating Her Majesty, The Queen

I realize that I’m a little late on this, but better late than never.

I was born in British Hong Kong and I currently reside in Canada, where I am also a citizen. That being said, I double love The Queen. I love The Queen so much, I left one of her colonies and went to another one of her colonies. And the city I live in right now? London, Ontario. She pretty much gave me the greatest referral ever in my passport. Thanks Queen. So the news of her passing was sad. I wept for hours and hours – could hardly enjoy my vacation with the news. How could she – The Queen, the monarch, the bad bitch herself just go. She never even got a chance to meet my children. I was going to name my children after her family – Andrew for a boy and Diana for a girl. I was absolutely gutted when I saw the news. But I will never forget Her Majesty. I will never forget how she liberated the indigenous communities of India, North and South America, as well as Africa. I will never forget all the good she did in helping the developing world become developed. She did that! She’s that bitch!

So I propose a federal holiday where we salute our dear Queen. On April 21, her day of birth, we should have a day off from work in remembrance and celebrate her life. As we know from her Corgi’s and her love for her family – The Queen wouldn’t want us to feel sad for her – she loves fun and has a real zest for life. So on April 21 or on any corresponding (long) weekend, I believe that we should fire up our barbeques and chow down. A glizzy for Lizzie is what I’m calling it. We start up our grills to put some hot dogs in our bellies. Hot dogs are also appropriate because The Queen loves her corgis. It’s like we’re double celebrating her because we’re eating dogs, which she loves, and because glizzy rhymes with Lizzie.

And of course, we know how much she contributed to the economy, so big box department stores should be able to do deep discounts on this day to honour her dedication to economy and business, all while these businesses can stimulate their local economy, therefore strengthening the common wealth. We can call it the Royal Discount or A Discount Fit For A Queen. All the points I’ve written above are sound and I believe that they will be great for the remembrance of our dear Elizabeth. Long live Great Britain, long live the legacy of The Queen!

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