SmAlL DiCk EnErGy (Not Talking About Me)

In the history of man, men have always been judged by the size of their dicks. In the past, small members were considered attractive and fancy, in contrast to barbaric large rods. However fast forward a few centuries and now the meta for your third leg is now to have a giant beam saber as seen in adult films. I’m not here to argue about “feel” or “sensation” – these are not things that I am aware of and to be frank, these are things that I have no interest in being aware of (no judgement). What I wanted to address was the current shaming of small peckers and how we, as a society, should act on what is in our pants.

I want to preface this article by saying that my wiener is a fine size. I do not have a small weewee, in fact my last girlfriend told me that it was fine, the way it is. I have collected all these thoughts from speaking with the Tiny Wang Gang. Get your jokes out of here, mine is fine. This article was inspired by how I saw a woman on the ‘gram, shaming a man for his totally cool car, saying that he has “small dick energy” because his car was a bit gaudy. As a fellow man, I couldn’t let this go. We shame men way too much for their appearances. We shame men for height, receding hairlines, and now this? Things that we cannot control? What is this madness? I would never comment about how my last girlfriend had large feet, or how my girlfriend before that would pronounce pho – as FOH. No Ally – you F.O.H.

And in the rise of social activism, I’ve been seeing a lot of posters and signs in marches connecting “small dick energy” with oppressors. Hey everybody, can we keep what’s between our legs sacred? I’m sure that there are more big horned men out there that are just as evil – in fact, that’s probably why they are evil because they’re overconfident. Next time you shame someone for their EnErGy – tell them that they have a massive dong. Again, just wanted to reiterate that these thoughts are not mine, but they’re things I’ve learned from my less endowed brethren and that I am offering my platform as their mouthpiece. Again, wanting to reiterate, my prick, is totally sick (in a good way, not like it has COVID or anything like that).

The size of your dingaling has nothing to do with someone’s weak spirt. If anything having smaller schmeat only means that you’re going to have to work harder to compensate with all the negative propaganda that has been drilled into society’s mind. To Tiny Meat Gang – stand up and erect. You are just as valued as some of these goliath sized motherfuckers. At the end of the day, you control your destiny. To everybody else, including me because mine is a totally fine size as stated by numerous women in my life, including your mom – grow up. Next time you see or hear someone mention small dick energy, speak up. You wouldn’t let someone make a racist or homophobic comment in front of you. The same logic applies to johnson sizes. Thank you, the floor is now yours my friends.

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