Mechanical Keyboards Are Just Like Sex

I am currently typing this on my new mechanical keyboard that I spent roughly 250 Canadian Dollars on. This is not considered a budget build, this is the price that somebody would pay once they are at least knee deep into the hobby. And sure, relative to a lot of vets out there, this may not be that much money – but get this, two months a go I wasn’t even sure of what mechanical keyboards really were. I knew that they clicked and clacked but I didn’t understand the hype. This was until this video showed up on my YouTube recommendations and boy . . . those clicks and clacks became thoccs and pops. Suddenly my whole world was revolved around hearing those keystrokes. I wanted to hear poppy thocs more than I had ever wanted to hear a beautiful woman tell me that they loved me.

Who in the world needs love, when your keyboard  looks, feels, and sounds like SEX. Like sex I have used: tape, rubber, and lube. Also like sex, mechanical keyboards are all about pushing the right buttons, screwing, and hitting the right strokes. It’s an entire experience involving: feel, sounds, and visuals. Keyboards also come in all shapes and sizes and what you like depends on your preferences – and no one should shame or judge you on your preferences. Maybe you want a more petite keyboard, something that you can throw around. Or maybe you want a larger keyboard with a numpad in order for you to really stretch out and get a nice feel for. Mechanical keyboards are just like sex.

I love my keyboard so much that it is currently 1:35 a.m. and I am typing this in bed with my keyboard connected to my phone via bluetooth. This RGB is going crazy and so are these thoccs. As a minimalist I want to stop, I want to stop looking for mechanical keyboard hacks – I want to cease looking for other keyboards when I’ve already poured hours and hundreds of dollars in my current keyboard to have it sound and feel more than satisfactory. However, I can’t. Once you get a taste, you can’t go back. Such is life for someone who is in love with their hardware.

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