Joe and Sophie: A Short King’s Retrospective

To be completely honest, I don’t know much about this relationship. I know that there’s a lot of he said, she said but none of that matters, we’re going to talk about this relationship and what it does for Short Kings all over the world. Last year, before my trip to Portugal, I wrote an article in the airport about the Top 10 Short Kings. Yeah the article was OK – some people liked it, mostly dudes – no, I did not get any feedback from women but I digress. For those who don’t know – Joe Jonas is an American pop musician of the band Jonas Brothers. He’s about 170cm on Google, so he’s probably closer to 167cm and he was married to British Actress Sophie Turner – known for her portrayal of Sansa Stark in Game Of Thrones and she is 175cm tall. When they got married, you know I was excited. Sure Jonas is good looking and successful but he’s a Short King – and we always support Short Kings.

I don’t know if he’s a good guy, I don’t know if he’s a good husband, or a good father. Shit, I can’t even say if he’s a good musician but when you bag Sansa freaking Stark – the Queen of the North – you’re a certified killer in my books. I don’t know who’s “fault” it was. I don’t know if someone was wrong or if it was mutual cuz to be honest, their marriage is not my business and it’s not yours either. But when it comes to Short Kings, that’s my business. And because there are so few of us successful Short Kings in mainstream media, I just have to speak out to all the women here, on behalf of Short Kings, that we’re not all like Joe Jonas.

A lot of us, are good men who will overcompensate in all aspects of life due to our physical limitations in order to appease you. I know that for myself personally, that if I pulled a tall shorty, that I would do everything in my power to let them know that they’re beautiful and that they’re an Amazonian queen. I know that Short Kings are low key having their moment in the dating world, in contrast to the past but I really hope this doesn’t dissuade women in general from going after shorter guys.

We still have Kings like Tom Holland, Jimin, and Jack Black – we’re still going strong ladies, don’t you forget it. We’ll still get on our tippy toes for a kiss. We’ll still be little spoon if you want to big spoon. We can still wear the same sized hoodies and maybe even shoes (not me though, I’m a size 10). Just because a high profile king is no longer with their famous wife anymore doesn’t change the fact that Short Kings are still hot in demand, better lovers than average to tall heighted men, and generally just more equipped for a sustainable lifestyle based on carbon footprint and accessibility. I’m just saying.

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