The other week, I wrote an article about Creed III and mentioned that Michael B. Jordan loves anime. Obviously the man has good taste, I’ve seen what his girlfriends have looked like, I’ve watched his selection of films – the guy clearly has good taste . . . but not in anime. He says that his top 5 anime are: Bleach, Hunter X Hunter, Naruto, Dragon Ball Z, and One Piece. You know what – fair enough, those are all great series that will be stand the test of time. But let’s be honest here, it’s also incredibly basic. That’s like saying that you like pizza and The Office on your online dating account – it’s just a universal truth. That’s like saying your favourite ice cream flavours are: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Shoot, I’ve written about all these series. The sky is blue, water is wet, and nothing is guaranteed but death and taxes. Whatever, people can like whatever they want to like – but that’s not going to stop me from gatekeeping MBJ.
I mentioned in an old article that I was low key upset that anime is kind of cool now with this generation of kids. When I grew up, people thought you were lame for liking that stuff. As a grown man – people think I’m lame for liking that stuff but I can’t help that I like what I like. I am bitter that I was a martyr for my passion, to allow this next generation of youths to be so public about their love for anime and manga. I literally see kids everyday wearing anime stuff. I’m talking cool kids, with nice sneakers, with their AirPods in. Not like how I was a lame kid who wouldn’t wear jeans because they were uncomfortable and would only wear sweatpants. So how does this all relate to MBJ.
The man is too cool, to like anime. Please leave weaboo culture to bums like me, who sleep with a body pillow, are afraid of the dentist, and struggle with women. Leave anime to guys like me – the real underdog. Mr. Jordan, you are so cool, I submit to you and your coolness. When I watched your film last week, there was about a two hour window where I questioned my sexuality as you strut your stuff shirtless – working out wearing the crap out of those suits. You’re hot, you’re talented, and you’re successful. Now you want to come for anime? THAT’S MY THING. And not just that but your taste in anime is THAT basic? C’mon – do better. BE better.
I have nothing against MBJ. I’ve been a fan of his since Friday Night Lights. I would cry watching that show, seeing the relationship between his and Kyle Chandler’s character, but I will not be crying over losing anime to you. He can keep his muscles, his money, his success, and his women – just leave the nerd stuff to me. In real life, shounen anime/manga are meant for losers like me.