When I was in university – a young lad, I used to be quite bitter about this but as a grown man, it’s something that I think is more funny than anything. Am I bitter still, maybe a smidge – but I still think that this is worth writing and laughing about. Do you ever feel like your friends who are in relationships forget about you? Like it’s valid that they would rather spend time with their significant other than a platonic friend but does it bug you? Because sometimes it bugs me. I have a friend, let’s call him Johnny because that’s his name and I told him that I was going to write this article, so we’re good, OK Johnny. Hey Johnny, this article is not about you, but you reminded me of this article that I wanted to write in university, OK? Chill out Johnny, this isn’t about you in particular. Also hello Flora, Johnny’s girlfriend because Johnny will show this to Flora.
Anyways, Johnny is not good at texting. The man will wait until Jesus rises again before he will get back to you. And I get it, we’re not all great at texting back, but an emoji or a thumbs up would suffice, especially when we’re making plans to hang out. BUT THE OTHER NIGHT, AT DINNER JOHNNY JUST TEXTS HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND THE ENTIRE NIGHT. Yo dude, it’s cool to reach out to your girl but when I know that you’ve caused me stress for not texting back on time, C’MON. Granted, Johnny has always been shit at texting back but I can see that he has the capability to text back in a timely manner, which makes me understand where I am on the pecking order of people to get back to.
When I was in school, many of my friends got into young and exciting relationships. The moment they did, I was thrown out to the gutter when it came to their list of people that they wanted to spend time with. I get that the relationship is new and fresh, but what am I chopped liver? But I want you to remember this. Who was with you when you were crying about some boy? Who was with you when you were complaining about some chick. I was. I. FUCKING. WAS. Who was with you when you were shooting in the gym? Who was helping you get home drunk from the bar? Who listened to you as you complained about this fucking random who you are now dating because of some solid advise? I was the one who watched you cry into your beer, I was the one who watched you hook up with 10 ugly chicks/dudes before you met the one you’re with now. I was the one who had to listen to your past failed relationships, as you sulked on why you will never find love in your life. ONE PERSON, ONE FUCKING PERSON – IT WAS ME.
So next time, you think about your relationship status with your SO and think about how good it is and what you’ve got to base this amazing relationship off of – it was me. Baron “Thoughtful Bear” Leung. When you were wondering what the status of your relationship was and I pushed you to say something to them about whether you were exclusive, when you were sitting anxiously by your phone, when you broke up but I reminded you that you still loved them and got back together. I happen to also be an ordained minister and love going to weddings, so I better get my reward. Is this an egotistical article meant for nobody else but me? Hell yes it is. But just remember, when I needed help most, like the Avatar (Aang), you were nowhere to be found. You know why? Because there’s only one Avatar and it’s me. Who helps the Avatar? Not you.
Thank you, Aang.
Hi Johnny.