I Just Wanted to Say

I will always remember you looking at me with those big honest eyes
And how it almost became routine for me to always reply with a bold faced lie
You always expected more but I couldn’t deny
The fact that you are a better person than me, as I caused you to cry
All the issues that I brought up
All the tissues that you used up
And all the proportions I would blow up
And I can’t believe you stuck it out with me
Knowing that I became such a mess
Thinking that I ALWAYS knew best
So much so I couldn’t even give my ego a rest
And I dressed up those words and you knew it
And you knew I wasn’t straight with you, and I blew it
And few knew it but I was not the person I pretended to be
And sometimes you were the only person to ever see that side of me
But every time you would look at me, he would come out
And every time he came out of me, I made everything fallout
You see I was fronting the entire time, but backstage was empty
The curtain called and he would grow with envy
And it took too long for me to notice that what was inside of me
Was just a scared little boy, hiding in the back, stuck in the fetal position
Calling for attention, just like some hack, faced with the inability to make a decision
And every time I gave you the “I can’t – I don’t know – I don’t care”
I fed this demon who only believed in “I’m right – you’re wrong – it’s never fair!”
And I can’t believe I dared to make up an excuse for my shameful character
Because I hurt you, and you, and all those others, all because I was a insufferable monster
And after all that I know I don’t deserve any redemption
But I just wanted to say that I forgot to mention
I’m sorry

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