As an ally, I just wanted to say that I am so happy that Pride Month is over. Most of you would not understand, as most of you aren’t allies but I had to put on for my LGBTQIA+ friends SO hard this month. Like, wow – I am just so tired of carrying this load. If you happen to celebrate Pride as a member of the community and you were wondering why the straights were being so nice to you this month, it was me. I made sure to send an email to every straight person on the planet, letting them know that it was Pride and that if they had a problem with it, that they would have to deal with me . . . sending them another strongly worded email. I had some people respond violently, asking things like “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” and “HOW DID YOU GET MY CONTACT INFO – I’M CALLING THE COPS”. But don’t worry my friends, I stood my ground and I did it for you.
I’ve always believed that life is all about giving. And this year, I gave the gift of acceptance and tolerance. You are all welcome for my contributions to not only retweet, like, and share – but that I was actively combatting homphobia, on the internet. When I tell you that my Twitter fingers became trigger fingers, I mean it. Sure, some of you may have attended one Pride parade this month, but I was attending Pride everyday this month online. I made sure to drop a rainbow emoji and a gif of Wendy Williams wherever I browsed. I retweeted two articles about the Stonewall Riots to show the straights out there, what the Pride origin story is all about. I’m not just surface level with it, I do my research.
I even made sure this Pride month, to let all my straight friends know that if they wanted to come out that I would gladly be the first person to open up my socials and tweet and repost about how proud I am for their decision. Am I the Michael Jordan of Pride? Of course not, however I could be considered Phil Jackson for putting the whole thing together, all while being the unsung hero of one of the greatest sport dynasties of all time. And for my straight friends who were not down for Pride this month – grow up. I put so much effort into making Pride good for my LGBQTIA+ friends, the least you could do is respect me as the greatest ally of all time – the G.A.O.A.T. if you will.
Now if you’ll please let me rest and close my eyes for a second – I will take my leave until June of next year when Pride will come back bigger, badder, and stronger than ever.