Falling in Love is Tricky

I think about this all the time. Falling in love is super weird because it almost makes no sense to me. Like you know when you ask someone why they love their SO and they list all these quirks about them, well they don’t like those quirks, they just love anything their SO does. I mean, the characteristics of your SO, I guarantee you are the same characteristics that millions of people in the world have. Falling for someone because you like their personality doesn’t quite cut it.

Then you need chemistry. I usually find this with people I can riff back and forth with but just because I riff with them well doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to the person physically and this person may feel the same way. Attractive people can’t riff because they lack a personality or a good sense of humour due to not developing one to cope with their insecurities over their appearance (…). So dating attractive people is now out the window. Also the fact that in order to get the most out of love, the other person having to love you back, is also ridiculous because they have to check all those boxes too. I haven’t even touched on time and setting either.

Ok so let’s say it’s mutual checked boxes between a couple. Well then they have to keep the spark alive. It’s fun, things get boring, they get different, then repeat. They repeat until they die, or until one of them fucks up majorly, or upon the realization that settling was not the right decision to make. Routine is rather boring, especially for individuals who are highly curious and adventurous.

And I tell myself all these things because I have a genuinely hard time finding someone else who will check these boxes for me but in reality it’s not a multiple choice test that these checked boxes are on, it’s more like an impossible simulation like the Kobayashi Maru. Friends in relationships will tell you it shouldn’t be this hard but they say it while being in their cushy relationship that make me sick. Thus leading to my final point that I think that most relationships are just individuals who have mutually checked boxes who have decided that they would rather settle then be on the hunt again. But damnit, I’m not looking to check some boxes, I’m looking to feel something bigger than me. It’s fucking hard to get what you want from love but from what I hear, it’s worth it.

(If I ever get in a relationship, that blog entry will be fun to read and write)

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