Dogs in the office

I think that most of my friends know by this point that I am not an animal person. Yes, I can admit when a dog or cat is cute and I have definitely thought about getting one in order to fend off the loneliness that I feel, essentially having a pet as a way to not feel less insecure. BUT, I always rationalize and realize that the idea of having a pet is probably not for me. That being said, I totally support people having pets. They are great for combating the bad thoughts, just too much responsibility for someone in my position right now. I might even get a pet one of these days, but that being said, I have a bone to pick with dog owners. Why are you bringing your pets (usually dogs) into the office.

The office I work in is dog friendly and most people I know love the dogs and I don’t blame you for wanting to bring dogs into the office. I also want to preface, that I have no problems with the dogs being in the office. They don’t distract me, I don’t care about dogs. I am writing in the perspective of the dogs and I am thinking in their best interest. I get it though, why would you not want to bring your best friend to the office, but have you thought about what your dog wants? I enjoy coming to work, but I for one, would rather be somewhere else. The head HR lady asked me the other day how I felt about the job and I told her that for a job, I am happy, but I would on vacation. If I were a dog, I would rather be on vacation than at the office.

If I had a dog, why in the world would I subject my furry friend to the office environment? I’d be evil for that. I don’t even want to be there and now I’m subjecting my dog to it. I know that if I were a dog, I would just want to be home alone, grazing. Doing what I do as a dog. I want to chill at the crib, lick my nuts if I still have them, chew on some shoes, maybe even poop on the carpet – some of you know that I can be a menace. Now I’m at your office and people are trying to pet me and do baby talk at me. People are pointing their cameras at me because I’m so cute, it’s a headache.

Personally speaking, people treat me like this as a human being and I can tell you already that as a human, it’s bad. Just don’t confine me in corporate America. And if you’re reading this and getting upset, I think that you’re telling on yourself. I am clearly thinking in the interest of dogs and am an ally. I’m not only an ally for marginalized groups of people but all marginalized groups, period. Dog might be man’s best friend, but it’s clear to me that man is not dog’s best friend.

Selfishly speaking I would like to say that the only dawg at the office should be me.

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