Although I am pretty certain of causality and have come to accept what it is, I do stubbornly try my best to fight the natural order of our world. I envision myself as the protagonist of an anime series, as I fight my destiny. As I grow up I realize that a lot of things will not naturally come to me. I often find people paying me less respect or attention because of my appearance. If you’re reading this and you are white, you may think I’m exaggerating but typically when I’m meeting new people with my white friends, those new people we’re meeting (usually white) will pay me less attention in the interaction, even if I am contributing to our conversation. Yes, purely anecdotal but also very true. And it is super easy to notice these things now because I am aware of them happening but as I look to graduate soon and look to start a career, I wonder if my appearance will hinder me at all professionally (dating on the other hand. . . yeah I’m bitter I’m sorry).
It is easy to blame causality that you are not a tall white guy with daddie’s money and that you were given everything in your life, but it is also easier to just not care about yourself and to not have any progression in life, whether it be personal progression, progression in your romantic life, or progressing yourself in your profession. Negativity shuns improvement, creativity, and capitalizing on opportunities. However, if I stay positive and look towards improving and being more creative, I can capitalize on my opportunities. Opportunities that could be in way of causality. So I will accept my fate but I still dare to challenge it. I just have to stop telling myself that my failures are imminent and try my best to do better because if I don’t, I will be depressed more which means I’ll write less, which means my readers will have less to look forward to, leading them into depression, and feeling imminent sorrow. Damn, Causality is a bitch.
