OK before you get all horny about me talking about romantic love – it’s more than that I promise. In the manga/anime Shokugeki no Soma – the main character’s (Soma) dad (Jōichirō) tells his son that in order to become the best at his profession (chef) he needs to find a love worth dedicating his life’s work to. In this context Jōichirō was speaking to his son about finding a woman that makes cooking fun and more than that just a hobby or career. A motivation to want to get better beyond something selfish. I understood what he meant and I agree. But beyond that I thought about it as a passion. You need a passion in life that is smoldering – so hot that you wake up excited and go to bed thinking about it. I want that. I want to feel so excited about something that I dedicate my life’s work to it.
When you’re in love with someone or something, meals taste better, work feels more productive, and you work out harder in the gym. Every difficult part of life becomes a little easier because you are motivated by something that is larger than yourself. I had that when I was an athlete. I loved the team, the culture and even practice (we’re talking about practice, not the game, we’re talking about practice). Even after tough practices, I would be grinning in the huddle after all the work because I was happy with what we’d done and for just being there. I was literally just happy to be present. I used to tell people that I was in a relationship with the team. One summer playing club rugby – I remember a cool breeze blowing by, walking towards my car after practice ended. The sun was starting to set and I was in complete bliss. We put in a hard day’s work at practice, we were in good spirits and I was playing rugby. That is true happiness. Not a worry in the world, just positivity.
I want to feel that flow when you’re getting work done. I want to start smiling just randomly and the only reason you know that you’re smiling is because someone caught you in the act and questions it. When focused on that love, it’s all you think about, but when your mind wanders, it’s where your mind spaces off to. An absolute obsession that can only be sustained through passion and progress. An obsession that consumes your life and provides your purpose – that’s the goal. An obsession where benchmarks and milestones are remembered not by their dates but by the feeling you get when you reach it. And yes, I realize that this might be unhealthy but I simply do not think that it is possible for me to become the best version of myself if I don’t have something like that to motivate myself.
On this blog, we are a broken record about passion but it’s one of those things that once you get a taste of, you can’t let go. For someone like me, I’m a dog. I’ll chase that feeling to the end of the Earth. When I’m into something or someone, I will sacrifice because I’m only looking at the endgame and that motivates me. The process and the struggle is a positive reminder that I’m alive and that life is something that can be fantastic! I want to be in love damnit. In the romantic sense and in the other romantic sense – where romance means an adventure. With people, with hobbies, with work – I want it all. I don’t feel shy saying this, as life’s not worth living if I can’t dedicate my everything to it. As of now, I’m still looking for it, chasing it and maybe one day I can get back to you on it. I don’t believe in half assing anything, I’ve always believed in whole assing everything. Fortunately for me, I’ve been told that I have a big fat ass and I know that I will find it.